Journals and blogs discussion

I’m not even sure where to begin. I should let folks who follow my blog know that I don’t stick to a strict schedule; I post when the urge strikes. Well.. here we go. The past few days have been rough for me and my wife. We seem constantly at odds, though I can’t pinpoint why exactly. I suspect it’s because her work stress is rubbing off on me, but there are other pieces to this puzzle too. We recently splurged on a relatively new car—it’s beautiful—but that has left us broke. Anyway.. with her period due soon, she’s getting quite edgy. It feels like the moment I open my mouth, any word could be picked apart by her irrational “it’s all your fault” logic. That puts me in such a bad place; I feel unloved and unable to express love simultaneously. We had a major clash last night. We went to bed early for cuddles, but what she really wanted was for me to mount her with manly vigor. She didn’t say so directly, and when I just assumed the standard approach, we both ended up disappointed. I’m rusty at rough sex and don’t endure long enough to fully satisfy her, though I would have if only I’d known what she needed. Finally, her job is crucial to her but demands way too much time right now. She usually works nine hours a day, but lately it’s closer to sixteen. As a new manager with one staff member out sick for most of the month, she’s essentially doing two roles while earning half what the previous person made. It sounds like a tough spot because it is, but the department offers great growth potential for her as a leader; we’re just in a turbulent period following some departures. We keep hoping things will stabilize and stress levels drop, but that relief always seems just out of reach. The result? All she talks about is work—when you labor sixteen hours a day, what else do you have to discuss? Even our walk tonight revolved mostly around office matters. It’s exhausting for me and leaves me feeling guilty. We are still in love, but right now it isn’t easy times, even though logically it should be. We live well, own a lovely home, and have amazing family support, yet the tension between us means neither of us is truly enjoying ourselves. Hopefully things improve soon.. for now I just have to smile through it.

Burger, I sympathize because Ms. Linda and I have lived through similar stretches many times over the years. There were periods [fights] where either [or both of us] wondered "is this worth staying together?" For us, it’s mostly been about being honest with each other. Then we sit down to figure out how to reduce the stress-induced arguing. The first thing I consider when stress rises is perspective: How important is this really in the grand scheme of things? Does it truly matter that much? And if everything else fails,,,, have your wife lie on the bed and give her a REALLY thorough back massage.. THAT ONE works wonders..lol. Hope all goes well for you both. Just remember, Burger,,,, YOU AND YOURS ARE NOT ALONE.... tiff

Thanks Tiff, I know we aren't alone.. and our situation fluctuates day by day. Some days are wonderful, then suddenly we collapse into each other in exhaustion. It’s comforting to hear that you two are doing well. Sigh, We’re working on it continuously; one day things will be nearly perfect all the time.