Introductions discussion

Hello CM. I found CM towards the end of 2018 while looking into different cages. I signed up early in 2019 and have read through the forums regularly since then. I was a bit hesitant to start posting because it pushes me out of my comfort zone, yet there are often threads where I really see myself that make me want to join in on the site’s discussions. Plus, I have some reviews planned and a key project I hope to share soon. I aim to use my chastity experience to be a helpful contributor here. About Me: I’ve been married to my KH/wife for 18 years. After having two kids, our relationship struggled in the following years. We became less intimate and drifted apart. I was masturbating frequently (which has always been common for me) and found that by the time she was ready for intimacy, I felt drained from self-pleasure. While doing so, I’d often fantasize about various kinks, including chastity. Around five years ago, I wrote her a detailed letter asking if she would try being my KH to help restore some of our lost closeness. She agreed. Over the next few years, we experimented with intermittent periods of weeks or even months at a time in chastity.

I started collecting various cages bought online, searching for one comfortable enough for continuous wear (and I found it; I adore my Cherry Keeper). In early 2018, I stayed locked continuously for about six months. We then took a break during the latter part of that year. On New Year’s Eve 2018, after buying my first Cherry Keeper and receiving a comfortable HT Nano cage, I asked her to lock me up again. I’ve been in chastity since January 1st, 2019.

During those early months of 2019, I exchanged many messages with JosieLynn Jewell (the maker behind Cherry Keeper) and ordered several cages, rings, and parts. Each time, I got closer to that elusive comfortable fit. Eventually, I settled on a size combination that feels both very comfortable and sufficiently restrictive for me (in a good way). But the real turning point came during a message exchange where I thanked JosieLynn; she replied saying they were happy to help with my kink. This was somewhat of an epiphany for me. Deep down, beneath all my layers, I’d felt some guilt about enjoying chastity so much. That conversation helped me realize that being kinky is perfectly OK. In the following weeks, I felt a great sense of peace regarding my desire to remain under my wife’s care. I brought this up with her, shared how much I loved my kink and having her as my KH, and asked if she would continue supporting my needs indefinitely. For me, it was like coming out.

Our journey hasn’t been without its bumps. Sometimes I tend to ‘top from the bottom’. There have been long periods where I felt abandoned, which could be quite a drag. However, one of the most valuable lessons I learned from this site this year is the importance of honest and thorough communication with your partner. My wife isn’t overly talkative about our relationship dynamics, so I’ve had to work hard to open those lines and keep them flowing. I truly laid bare my heart and my kink. Fortunately, she didn’t stomp it out (haha). Seriously, it’s been working really well. Although she remains a bit more reserved than I am, we are growing together in this relationship and figuring things out as we go. It might be slightly lighter and less strictly FLR-style compared to some here, but reading the site all year taught me that there are just as many ways to shape a chastity relationship as there are rainbow colors; everyone does it differently.

One of our recent conversations revealed she sometimes needs help deciding when and what actions keep things moving for her. We agreed that I can suggest ideas to assist her without expecting her to follow them, but rather to provide inspiration. This approach seems to be working reasonably well.

The core of our dynamic is that I have given her full control over my erections; she only releases me when she desires PIV or wants to tease me. We’ve found a solid routine (we’re both creatures of habit, which suits us). Every morning, I wake her with oral sex. Once she reaches her first orgasm, she usually prefers PIV and unlocks me for that purpose. She typically achieves several more orgasms during this time. I don’t climax in the same way through these encounters. Over the last five years, she has helped train me to endure long periods of PIV without reaching orgasm or ejaculating. While I do need to stop occasionally to prevent it, we manage well (especially for her). She never lets me finish via this route. In fact, I haven’t had what I call a ‘free-range’ orgasm in 2019 (more on that shortly).

After she is satisfied, we head to the shower where I wash her thoroughly from head to toe. After my own shower and shave, I put the cage back on and ask her to lock me up again. She wears the key on a long chain around her neck and mentions she enjoys having it there. Currently, I’m crafting a nicer key for her—I plan to post about that within the next month or so.

She occasionally likes massages at night, which I am always happy to provide upon request. Although I haven’t had a full orgasm in 2019 yet, she has given me several different types of ruined orgasms. Recently, we’ve started exploring prostate milking and associated orgasms over the last few months. I really enjoy it; she teases that this is now my only allowed way to cum (and she knows I appreciate the teasing). After a few months of trials, she found the right technique and can massage my prostate effectively to milk me. She also learned how to trigger an orgasm in this manner, which she has done several times. The tool was a stainless steel arched wand that proved to be exactly what we needed.

Wow, this turned out longer than I expected! But I’ve been thinking about what to say for quite some time now. It feels good to get it all out there, like releasing anxiety and finding calm afterward. I’m not sure how frequently or often I’ll post here in the future, but stepping out of the shadows to become an active member of this community feels wonderful.

Thanks for reading, SheMastersMyDomain

Coo, that's a long one. But welcome to the forum and I hope you enjoy it here as well now that you're dipping your toe in.:)