Female led relationships discussion

I’ve been mulling this over for some time and figured it was worth asking what everyone else thinks. Do you believe that Doms/Domainnes are naturally outgoing? Conversely, do submissives lean more toward being shy? As you might guess, I am VERY extroverted. For me, the best times involve hanging out with lots of friends and chatting late into the night. Meeting new people excites me. Yet, throughout my life, the men who have drawn me in tend to be on the quieter side. When I met John, he was quite silent and hesitant about sharing his thoughts. He really struggled to jump into conversations when we were out or at parties. Over time, as I’ve been with him and introduced him to my family, he’s realized that if he has something to say, he needs to speak up. In our 17 years together, he’s come out of himself ten times over. He can still feel overwhelmed in big crowds, but he knows how to handle his discomfort now. It strikes me as interesting that all my friends are outgoing, fun, and a bit loud…yet those aren’t the traits I find most appealing. I’d rather be munching on the cute guy sitting quietly in the corner with a friend or solo. Actually, when a man starts acting too cocky, I immediately go on guard. It feels like he’s trying to compete with me. Strange… What are your thoughts?

They say opposites attract, don't they? So perhaps that underpins this idea. I am naturally extroverted, but through self-reflection over the years, I’ve realized that many people find my energy overwhelming or intimidating. Interestingly, I have never found **submissive** types particularly attractive because I enjoy being challenged and usually gravitate toward those with a viewpoint worth debating. If someone is immediately submissive to me, it actually turns me off somewhat, though I do feel protective of shy folks who make an effort; in such cases, I try to "tone down" my own demeanor to encourage them. My husband is a typical outgoing alpha male, which was how our relationship began. His submission started as an intellectual way of resolving conflicts—you need that system when both parties are confident alphas because compromise can be tough sometimes. He had only ever been in vanilla relationships where he played the standard silverback role, but meeting me shifted things for him. He believes his submissive nature has always existed; it just surfaced when he met a woman who could match him intellectually, confidently, and even financially. In his view, he wouldn’t submit to any other woman. For my part, I would never have been romantically interested in him if he had been a "yes man" or shown signs of being intimidated by me. That said, I find over-the-top, cock-swinging males who sit with their legs wide apart to be exceptionally tedious. The last lecherous bloke who grabbed my rear was told—in my sweetest voice and girliest smile—that the next part of his body that touched me would be returned broken into several small pieces, possibly with bite marks. I do find good old-fashioned manners, respect, and chivalry to be attractive traits in a man. If opening a door or offering an arm to help out of the car is considered submissive behavior, then there’s a whole new discussion to be had. Personally, I see it as a sign of quiet strength, good upbringing, and thoughtfulness. Every time a noisy feminist decries gentlemanly behavior as some sort of attack on her equality, I get very annoyed.

> Goddess Jen said: > I’ve been mulling this over for some time and figured it was worth asking what everyone else thinks. > Actually, when a man starts acting too cocky, I immediately go on guard. It feels like he’s trying to compete with me or something. Strange..... > What are your thoughts? > Click to expand... Well Goddess Jen. At least now I know WHY You don't like me... ppppppttttthhhhhh {lololollol}

For me, it's a mix of both. In a room full of strangers, I tend to be quite introverted, talking only to those I know. On the other hand, in a room full of people I recognize, I’m not afraid to express my opinion, right MM. MM's sweetpea

Interesting poll. I voted introvert. Reason: My energy refills when I spend time alone. I like being among people and am out most days of the week. But if I don’t get enough solitude, I become stressed and my energy drains slowly. I’m that shy pure guy who sees the best in everyone. In my opinion, extroverts are people who can be around others constantly while still retaining lots of energy. When they’re alone for too long, however, they lose their mental spark.

I find a room full of strangers at a social gathering intimidating. However, if it's a room full of strangers watching me while I am working, I turn into quite the show-off. Perhaps in my professional life I am more in my comfort zone. I stopped drinking in 2001 and strangely enough, that’s when I came out of myself more. I started interacting more and found myself feeling more relaxed around women. I find I’m most at home with a confident female. (They were the ones who intimidated me before.) Hope this makes some sort of sense to someone.

I would have to vote for both. I am most comfortable when surrounded by people I know. However, I learned a long time ago that the mind follows its most prominent thought. So, when I’m with a group of people (and expected to behave in a certain way), I can appear somewhat extroverted. I do enjoy meeting new people, but prefer smaller groups; large crowds tend to overwhelm me. I also agree with both Goddess Jen and Celtic Queen. I find over-confident, brutish, chest-thumping men to be a complete turn-off. They are definitely not worth the time and effort needed to get to know them. On the other hand, a gentleman catches my attention every single time.

Extroverted for the most part, but in an introverted way if that makes any sense. I don’t have an ego wall anywhere and don’t need constant reminders of my greatness. I am outgoing yet very reserved at the same time. Respectful of those around me and not wishing to draw attention to myself. Great topic of discussion by the way, and I’ve enjoyed reading everyone's responses. cynthia

After checking with **Mistress**, I voted myself as an extrovert. Except when **mistress** gags me or otherwise instructs me to be quiet!

**Extrovertly submissive..** > Goddess Jen said: > Do you believe that Doms/Domainnes are naturally outgoing? Conversely, do submissives lean more toward being shy? > Click to expand... I think most would assume the above is true. I submit completely to my **Mistress**, but in nearly any given social or work situation, you will find me very much leading the charge to speak. My submission to Her is used by us both to ensure that W/we find solutions to our issues and provides a forum for U/us to debate the matter and decide upon a way forward TOGETHER. It is when there is a difference of opinion that my **Mistress** will, if needed, make an overriding decision that I must accept without further argument. This is hard for me as I am used to getting my own way; on several occasions, I have been punished for not 'letting the agreed arrangement stand'. But I’ve learned now. All those psychometric tests I’ve taken put me off the scale for extrovert. I love going into new situations and mixing with people I don’t know. There is always something to learn! So, I am most definitely an extrovert and most definitely a **submissive**, but I would only ever submit to my Wife/**Mistress**. I cannot see myself ever submitting to any other person. My signature line says it all. Best regards to all

I am definitively introverted, and mostly **dominant**. I also have a **submissive** side, which I guess is what got me locked up in my **chastity** device. I originally became interested in chastity belts because I thought they could be an interesting way to dominate women, but soon learned that chastity benefits men more. On the other hand, most subs I know afk are naturally extroverted. So I don’t think that Doms in general are extroverted and subs are introverted. But I do believe opposites attract, so introverted and extroverted people draw to each other.