Introductions discussion

hi folks! I’d like your assistance in embracing the chastity life. My journey began at age twelve, and now at twenty, I deeply regret that I was allowed to watch porn as a child. No one taught me how to masturbate properly; instead, I picked it up by watching pornography heh.

tl;dr: Over-masturbation has messed with my body. My brain feels fried, and I’m constantly tired, as if an orgasm is permanently lingering there. I have a foggy head and significant memory issues/forgetfulness. I can walk around—I’m not confined to bed—but it’s like having only 50% energy because of illness. You can still move about, but it requires considerable effort. It feels great when that “back to normal” energy returns.

I bought a black CB-3000 to lock myself in and force me to stop being my own keyholder. So I need your help/support now. Yes, the photo shows real life! Look at my stomach—I am genuine!!! AND STAYING LOCKED!! Thank You for reading the tl;dr;)

WARNING LONG POST!!!!

I turned 20 last October in 2009 and ordered a black CB-3000. I kept trying to stay locked, giving up the role of keyholder over and over, but I failed repeatedly. I need a community to keep me in my place, because no one else who holds keys lives nearby here in Medford, New York. And no girl wants to date a freak like me who is desperate for her.

Every time you see a girl you want to get with, it feels corrupting. I want self-control and the ejaculation control of a master sex man!! I even tried penis exercises (which worked), butttt… since turning 18, I struggled to get hard. At eighteen, I signed up for a program where I remain a lifetime member. When I told the exercise site that I couldn’t maintain an erection, their reaction was flaming and laughing. You’re only 20—take your penis! Pretty much, I killed it off during this period of my life lol.

My reasons to be in chastity: addicted to masturbating Because I masturbated so excessively, I now suffer from: dark circles under my eyes which drive me crazy. I feel like a criminal who has finally been caught. Fortunately, I have no medical conditions; however, my eyes are actually bloodshot too.:/ i can’t get an erection properly. If I want to orgasm, I literally have to yank and squeeze my penis until forced ejaculation occurs. My state is semi-soft when it happens. constant fatigue that makes me feel “foggy.” It’s like having a perpetual orgasm where the sensation never fades, making thinking difficult. memory loss—like pouring cereal but forgetting where you put things if you don’t concentrate hard enough: I once put milk in the cabinet and cereal in the fridge. Another time while paying the pizza delivery guy, I held his change in my hand then set it down; when the doorbell rang later, I couldn’t find it so they had to come back for payment after all. The first incident found money in the freezer! Second time? In the bathroom medicine cabinet. I’ll hold something one moment, do a task, and forget what I just put down.:/ envious of guys on many websites whose cum is creamy, thick, and shoots far. My current sperm output is low; it usually dribbles out clearly and watery. Essentially my body wants to heal itself while I keep messing it up. I want a girl who learns that you don’t need a cock for her orgasm. My time inside the cage allows me to last under 1 minute flat, which suits me better than being greedy with fast cumming. Besides, it’s said that roughly 70% of girls don’t achieve orgasm from penile stimulation alone—hence all those fakes. end of reasons

So I wear the black CB-3000 because I feel like I shouldn’t deserve to look at my penis/cock. After messing up your body as much as mine has (note: no smoking, no drinking), I just wanted it all to end. And yes, you can make a CB-3000 fit naturally and become part of your anatomy.

I really dislike how my penis pokes out through the vent holes; it bulges outward too. Is long-term swollen skin poking out harmful? My scrotum gets hurt from the ring wrapping around me, though I endure it over time. Will toughen up like a blister turning into callus? Thanks for reading this lengthy post! I created an xtube profile under “tomfucker” where I uploaded my first photos (hope they went through) and one silly video. It’s actually my first time taking self-portraits while diving headfirst into the vast internet world:)

Welcome to the Mansion tomfucker, > tomfucker said: > hi folks! I'd like your assistance in embracing the chastity life. My journey began at age twelve, and now at twenty, I deeply regret that I was allowed to watch porn as a child. No one taught me how to masturbate properly; instead, I picked it up by watching pornography heh. > Click to expand... I started shortly after my three sisters began using me like their living Barbie doll around age five or six. It felt good so I continued. Nobody ever formally taught me the mechanics. Then they kept dressing me until about twelve years old. So, I have a deep love for petticoats and lace. > tomfucker said: > I really dislike how my penis pokes out through the vent holes; it bulges outward too. Is long-term swollen skin poking out harmful? My scrotum gets hurt from the ring wrapping around me, though I endure it over time. Will toughen up like a blister turning into callus? > Thanks for reading this lengthy post! I created an xtube profile under "tomfucker" where I uploaded my first photos (hope they went through) and one silly video. It's actually my first time taking self-portraits while diving headfirst into the vast internet world:) > Click to expand... The fitting period involves trial and error. Start with the largest ring and longest spacer, wear it for a while; if you notice pain or discoloration remove it quickly. If they feel too loose swap one item at a time until finding your best combination where there is no pain—the goal is denial without frying "your goods" (deny not fry). Rings are mass-produced so sometimes extra material/flash remains on them. You might need sandpaper to smooth the edges of the ring; I used 600 grit when finishing mine and it smoothed things out excellently. There are a couple solutions for poking through vent holes: 1. Use some electrical **tape** inside against the vents, wear as is, or 2. After taping off vents apply silicone fish tank sealer (non-toxic) plus sandpaper; roughen outside cage area around vents so the sealer has grip; fill from exterior outward smoothing with wet finger connecting holes together forming a layer over roughed zones wait about 24 hrs drying time checking label instructions then remove interior tape once dry. This method lasts roughly two-three months depending upon lube choice—expensive silicone lubricants may degrade fish tank sealant causing early failure whereas baby oil gel works well keeping plugs intact for three plus months still looking good. We also offer video uploads if interested simply click EXTRAS button located atop page to access gallery feature.

Wow, what an amazing introduction and a gorgeous photo! I *LOVE* it! :welcome: to the Mansion. You will find lots of wonderful people to share your experiences with here. Enjoy your stay.

Welcome, Tom:-) No amount of masturbating should cause the physical symptoms you're experiencing. Seriously, I'd suggest seeing your physician. It could be anything from nutrition, lyme disease, or something more serious. You don't have to talk to your doctor about your masturbation habits. Just describe the physical symptoms you're seeing - though the inability to maintain a full erection may be a symptom he should hear. Regarding your skin poking out the holes in the tube, I have the same problem at times. One it starts, and the skin gets irritated, there is little to do but take the tube off and wait for it to clear up. It usually fixes itself within a few days. Over time, your body will probably adapt to it, but there are still moments when that stuff just happens. I consider it one of the many problems of the CB-xxxx line. mikecb

Thank you all so much for the lovely welcomes! I was honestly worried that my introduction might anger everyone or break some rules here, especially since I used quite a bit of harsh language and mentioned my health problems. This isn't exactly a medical forum after all. I feel like I owe each of you a specific response: @Jaimelynn - Your story is INCREDIBLE! It's clear how much you love your sisters, especially during those dress-up games.:) I don't have any brothers or sisters myself, and my family never really talked about masturbation with me back in the day. I found that none of my friends were into it either. It was a pretty strict lock on sex for us. The advice regarding comfort and modifying the vent hole is truly excellent (goood). I bookmarked this page because I'm planning to alter the CB-3000. This device cost me quite a bit, as it was my birthday present from a while back. I got so nervous about the delivery that I chose what I think was second-day air shipping; I don't recall if next-day air was an option on AJ Miller's website at the time. I had this fear of my mom picking up and opening the package. Thank goodness I was home when it arrived, while my parents were out for the day. My main goal is just to let my body adjust to the device. Eventually, I got frustrated enough to break down and ask for help because I felt so alone. I will alter it; I'm sure of it happening in the near future. Thank you both for the detailed posts and your kindness. @Mistress Watchful - OMG! THE QUEEN IS HERE!!! ALL HAIL MISTRESS WATCHFUL!:anim_37: P.S.: I noticed on your Amazon profile that you have the "Barcraft stainless steel multi measure jigger cup." It made me think: could I make an xTube video dedicated to you? In my mind, that cup is for catching a man's cum and making him drink it. I could do this after spending a week building up my reserve. However, I must warn you about my face; it is HORRIBLE right now. I have really bad acne and need to start working out soon because I'm not physically active. God, muscles would be nice—an even muscle tone throughout the body. My physique is ugly;_; @Mikecb - Thank you for responding to me too, Mikecb!!! I should share my medical history with you; it's actually quite short. 1) Born in 1989: I was born with an undescended right testicle. At two months old, I had surgery for it. It was successful, and aside from that, I have no other major conditions. 2) Young child (approx. 5–9 years old): I suffered a lot of sore throats back then. Strep throat was rare when I was very young. By the time I reached this age range, I was just one more sore throat away from having my tonsils removed. Fortunately, that phase passed, and to this day, I haven't had another single sore throat. 3) Glasses: I got them around age eight (I felt old!). I remember crying so much because I thought wearing glasses would turn me into a freak. 4) Age 12: Masturbation began for me. 5) Age 13: The stitches from my infant testicle surgery started to give way. They lasted about two or three weeks before giving up. It was this searing pain in my right testicle (not the left). I was too nervous to tell my parents, so I never did. The sensation of those stitches ripping apart felt worse than a CB-3000 lock keeping my testicle down in the scrotum rather than letting it creep up toward my stomach. How do you know when the stitches are tearing? Answer: You wake up in the middle of the night with your right testicle "stuck" high past the scrotum. I would gently push it back into place by hand, and eventually, the pain subsided. To this day, I can still push my testicle upward—not too far, but enough to make it look like I only have one ball. I never told my parents until much later and never saw a doctor about it specifically. 6) Age 14–15: Notable for nothing major medically. I had learned how to masturbate by then and kept at it regularly. Since I didn't have many friends or participate in school activities, I remember masturbating frequently from age twelve onwards—going to sleep, waking up, doing homework/studying. From twelve onward, I masturbated just for fun to keep myself happy. 7) Age 16–17: This is when I started feeling that "foggy brain" symptom along with physical fatigue. Of course, because I was masturbating so much, I remember only a small drop coming out each time—that's how frequent it was! Again, no friends around me; just all alone. 8) Age 17: I began noticing bumps on my groin area, specifically in the crease where the groin meets the thigh. The bumps were located right there at the crease. Of course, I kept masturbating despite being scared that these bumps would cause issues. They aren't painful, but I told my parents because I feared damaging my cock and balls. My theory was self-chastity induced by excessive masturbation. The doctor examined me; I dropped my pants, and he felt inside the crease where the bumps were located. It turned out to be bilateral lymph node bumps on each side. He ordered an ultrasound for both testicles and the lymph nodes in that thigh crease area. I remember being so nervous because it was the first time I'd exposed myself to two young doctors without having an erection (because I had been jerking off night and day, before and during). Still, I felt shy afterward. The chief doctor of infectious diseases also examined me; she is a female doctor. She palpated the bumps and looked all around my cock/balls and thighs. She even stuck a finger up my ass to ensure that area was working properly too! (No erections from either that or the internal exam since one finger doesn't work for me—I prefer two fingers! Yes, I had already mastered doing this at age 14). The doctor asked if I shaved the area; I said yes. She noted I wasn't having sex with anyone (guy or girl) and always shaved because I loved the sensitivity—it's such a turn-on, which remains true today. She then asked if I had squeezed any pimples recently. I confirmed that I did after shaving. The result: The doctor concluded that squeezing a pimple while shaving caused my lymph nodes to swell with bumps. These lymph node bumps are essentially a warning sign from the body regarding infection. So, the bumps were present; she put me on antibiotics and they went away initially. Later on, however, they returned and have remained there up to today. 9) Age 18: Braces. My parents could afford them for me, and my dentist advised several times that I should look into braces to correct an overbite. 10) Age 19 - Staph Infection: My uncle owns a wood-burning stove made of metal; it looks like a traditional cooking stove but is used primarily to heat the house. He bought TONS of extra logs for it, stacking many in his driveway. I had to help move the wood from those piles in the driveway to the back where he wanted them piled up and wrapped with strong plastic tarps. We did this work in June. There was so much bending over to pick up the wood, loading it onto a cart, repeating the process. It was mostly me, along with my Uncle and Aunt helping out. The amount of work required for just three "quarts" worth of wood drained all my energy. I wanted to spend the entire day until everything was moved without stopping. Just bending and lifting, over and over. I could feel a burning sensation in my left thigh, near the groin. Because I am not physically active by nature, it felt like a muscle pull—though I had never experienced one before in my life. The pain intensified in my left thigh; I felt it traveling deeper and moving upward toward my torso. Eventually, it settled right at the crease where my thigh meets the groin area. It felt as if something was cutting me open from the inside out. The pain spread to my abdomen but stayed localized in that spot. A hard bump formed there which I could feel; it was painful. It took another three weeks for the acute pain to subside, leaving behind that hard bump in its place. This bump actually created a visible line in the crease of my skin—right where the pubic area has that natural fold underneath your stomach. That's exactly where the line appeared. It kept moving and growing bigger. It was now just one or two days before Christmas. I didn't want to help Dad put up the Christmas tree because I had been acting like an ass to him. I felt lazy and reluctant to do anything further for his sake. He continued bugging me more and more. That particular Christmas tree was plastic, with pieces connecting together. The base is metal, supporting a longer pole that slides down into it. You then attach the plastic branches to this structure. As we moved around arranging the branches, they rubbed against my stomach near that crease area. That line I had there finally burst! I couldn't keep this a secret from my parents any longer and told my Dad. He drove me to the hospital where they had to emergency surgery on me. I had a serious staph infection that was growing more and more inside of me. To get rid of it, the doctors put me under anesthesia and cut down deep to squeeze out all of that icky staph. The doctor found out that it was a stitch from my surgery as a baby; the stitch never dissolved into my body. As of this writing there is no explanation for why stitches won't dissolve in the body. This stitch caused an infection, which led to the staph. The burning I felt was from other stitches I had inside my body. It would have stayed in my thigh but my stitches broke from the wood moving marathon. 11) Age 20 (today!)- I got my braces off after 2 years of treatment!:D I fully healed from the staph infection, I have a scar down on my groin but I was ok. The entire time I had gone to the regular doctors for your eyes, teeth, skin, got an ultrasound. Got blood tests and other tests. All showed up normal. I'm not a doctor though I know that it was from masturbation; I felt more and more of the symptoms of over masturbation, also called sexual exhaustion. In my medical records I am a healthy man of age 20. Though I do eat well. I stay away from sugary junk food. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, don't drink soda. Don't smoke, don't drink alcohol, don't do drugs. I'm not an athlete but I am missing physical exercise. I NEVER was physically active. I've heard physical activity does a lot of healing in the body. It's the best free medicine there is; soon I want to do it. That's the end of my medical history.:) Thank you Mikecb for your advice and everything!!! Thank you all everyone here at the community!!!