Introductions discussion

I considered taking a moment to introduce myself. I am new to this site and new to chastity, but when a friend suggested it, I knew right away that this was what I had been seeking. As a natural Dom, I decided to stay celibate because I wasn’t finding exactly what I wanted in my relationships; why should I deprive myself for another’s pleasure if I get nothing back? Although I have never been in a D/s relationship, I know quite a bit about them and have often toyed with the idea without knowing how to find such a dynamic. However, the last thing I want is a weak or whiny male, which is so common in everyday life. So here I am, new but certain of what I need. This site feels exactly right when much of the world views this as taboo.

I have a plan. My first goal is to refine my skills as a Madame. I want our initial experience to be thrilling for both me and my partner. To do that, I need information. So I will probe some of you for what I require, thanking you in advance for your help. Once I am confident in my abilities, I will look for someone to train according to my needs. After spending years caring for others’ needs while denying myself, I think it is definitely time for someone to take care of mine. Everyone deserves a bit of selfishness now and then. Besides, whoever I choose will be well rewarded if he succeeds; and if not… I’ll handle that too.

Suggestions are welcome. But above all, how do subs identify themselves in daily life so Doms can recognize them? I am not sure I have ever met a true male sub, at least one who is heterosexual. Mme. Nerissa

>But first and foremost, how do subs identify themselves in daily life so that they may be recognized by the Doms in their midst? I am not sure I have ever met a true male sub, at least not one who was heterosexual. I don't think there is really a specific way. You just have to discover it mysteriously. The key is to give clues to the guys and they will then offer clues back to you. And eventually confess everything.

Well, I suppose it's a good thing that I'm patient and like to take my time. Still, how disappointing. I read an article earlier stating that any man could be turned into a sub with the right training. It was both detailed and interesting. I admit I found the idea erotic. To find some man who is used to getting his own way in all things, powerful in business, intelligent and no one's fool...then to train him to serve me and bring him figuratively and literally to his knees? Yeah, that sounds perfect. I love the concept of having a powerful man at my mercy.

> MadameNerissa said: > Any suggestions will be welcomed. But first and foremost, how do subs identify themselves in daily life so that they may be recognized by the Doms in their midst? I am not sure I have ever met a true male sub, at least one who was heterosexual. > Click to expand... Madame Nerissa, Sites like this are a good start for locating people with similar interests. Fetlife is another very good site because it's organized regionally. It helps locate people of similar interests in your area. mikecb

> MadameNerissa said: > But first and foremost, how do subs identify themselves in daily life so that they may be recognized by the Doms in their midst? I am not sure I have ever met a true male sub, at least one who was heterosexual. > Click to expand... That is an interesting problem. I don't identify myself as a sub at all in daily life. In fact, I'm quite assertive and dominant. My work/social persona is quite separate from the kinky submissive side that wants to serve my Mistress. Heterosexuals seem to keep their sexual kinks private. I know very little about the sex lives of my heterosexual friends... maybe we're all getting locked up and doing the housework when we get home;) I guess if I was looking for a Mistress, I'd look into local clubs or kinky dating services rather than expect to find someone in daily life. > MadameNerissa said: > I read an article earlier that said any man could be turned into a sub with the right training. It was both detailed and interesting. I will admit that I found the idea erotic. To find some man who is used to getting his own way in all things, powerful in business, intelligent and no one's fool...then to train him to serve me and bring him figuratively and literally to his knees? Yeah, that sounds perfect. I love the idea of having a powerful man at my mercy. > Click to expand... Though he'd have to want to submit to training... unless you're planning to abduct some poor unsuspecting alpha male;) I love submitting to my Mistress (read Wife), this is a fairly recent development in our relationship, but I've always been keen to please her in bed, over and over... I've mused there might perhaps have been some submissive tendencies all along. > mikecb said: > Fetlife is another very good site, since it's organized regionally. It helps locate people of similar interests in your area. > Click to expand... I came across Fetlife yesterday after following a link from this site. I was surprised to find there are weekly meetings and presentations on BDSM techniques literally a street away from where I work.

welcome to this wonderful site, Madame Narissa!::curtsey:: i am a sissy who lives the dichotomy: my work-life outside the home finds me dominant and assertive, while outside of that I am a submissive, chastized sissymaid who gets great pleasure and satisfaction serving Ladies. i'm sure there are many of us just like that!

Welcome Madame Nerissa. This is one of the better (and realistic) sites on chastity. Lots of folks with lifestyle choices here and good feedback. As a dominant, the choice to remain celibate is always an interesting one. One of my best friends in the scene does not understand such a thing. Frankly, he is more of a kinky/swinger type. The ladies in my life call that the "Domly Dom" thing, chuckle and move on. I reserve myself for my wife and slave. For that matter, my own chastity is my choice and proof of commitment to them. They will unlock me at any time, but know it is because I desire them. I do not practice 24/7 but more for special occasions: days before anniversaries, ceremonies etcetera. Your choice has me intrigued; being unsatisfied while partners are satisfied is a miserable thing. I consider this different from denial as someone can be quite satisfied in the proper setting. I'll second Fetlife as a great resource and networking site. I am FalconMD for those wanting to see a bit further into my life. There is someone for everyone out there and I am sure you will find the right fit at some point. Many men are driven by their penis, when you find one that is driven by his brain, grab him! Best of luck and again, welcome. F