Journals and blogs discussion

I’ve been wanting to start a blog for years, unsure whether to write out my story or just keep quiet. Seeing others do it this morning made me feel like a coward for not having the guts to post, so I decided to go ahead.

I’m going to be open and honest with the disclaimer that my mood shifts daily; I might swear if you’re offended by this—I apologize—but I speak from the heart and swear frequently in my thoughts anyway, so what the hell. Authority and authority figures. I absolutely detest them. I see them as weak-minded little idiots. Am I the one who takes the opposite view to piss people off? Yes. Do I like taking charge? Absolutely. So why do I enjoy being dominated by a woman? This is my biggest internal conflict, something I can’t shake.

I’d say I have character and am proud of my roots, with good communication skills and no shyness (in person). Am I drop-dead gorgeous? No. Does that bother me? NO! Why not because it has never stopped me sleeping with women of all shapes, sizes, races, and levels of attractiveness. My confidence comes from knowing there’s something special about me and knowing that I have always been able to bring a woman to orgasm. What I’m saying is I don’t give a damn (even though my rant might sound contradictory).

Am I nervous around men? A big No. My accent and large build usually cause issues as some people are intimidated by me, but being street-smart allows me to mentally draw a line in the sand that men shouldn’t cross. Bullies? Hate them completely.

So what impression am I trying to give? I’m not just stating my opinions blindly.

Why be dominated by a female and a younger one at that (it freaks me out slightly because she is younger)? Well, she got inside my head past the walls I put up. She realized I can easily become a begging dog at her feet. Would I ever cheat on my wife? NO (not without permission lol), but do I think about sleeping with other women? Yes, every day. Why don’t I act on it? Well, opportunities arise, but I never want to lose my wife.

Am I an addict? Yes, in many ways. I smoke cannabis (and screw anyone who tells me to quit; I’ll stop when I’m ready, thank you), and I hate alcohol (I have a terrible temper, which isn’t a good mix as it can make me violent). But my biggest addiction is domination, the thing I’ve only truly found with one woman in my life (despite sleeping with hundreds of others).

Yes, I have had women dress up in PVC and leather; yes, I’ve done threesomes with two women (I’m not into men), but it never meant much. Seeing my wife dressed up means something to me; it really does.

Am I happy when I am submissive? Fuck yes! I am so calm, reasonable, and at peace with myself that I focus on everything except my own sexual pleasure—and I love that. When I’m ‘vanilla’, I feel moody, angry, depressed, and rejected; I fucking hate it.

Am I selfish as a person? Yes, but not intentionally—it’s just how I’m made, and sometimes I need to be told straight out. Would I take offense if people pointed this out? Yes. Is that right? NO, so I’ve decided not to take anything personally on this blog. Honest promise.

Is this all a confused rant? Yes. I thought long and hard about it and discussed starting the blog with my wife before beginning. She noted MW and pets posts and said it doesn’t have to be just about sex; it’s about normal life too.

So is my life normal? I fucking hope not! How conformist and crass can one get? I love being a rebel.

Where do I go from here? Well, I am going to confess warts-and-all on here. I’ve decided to use this as my outlet.

Am I chastised right now? NO. Why? Because I’m feeling very grr and would run a mile from it (hope MV doesn’t read this bit). Would I put up with it? I suppose I would have to, but secretly yes, maybe. The problem is the intense sexual high that stops me from functioning—eating, sleeping, thinking of anything but sex.

Is this the way chastity should work? I don’t think so, but this is what happens to me. It’s like a massive foreplay session that doesn’t stop, especially if MV invokes my foot fetish (yes, I have one big time). I also think MV isn’t up for anything sexual at the moment; I understand why, so having me chastised around her isn’t good for her right now because it makes me too hyper.

Reading that last paragraph, I know I’m coming across as selfish, but our situation is difficult to explain externally. So what am I thinking about? A lesbian in PVC with my wife and a strap-on fucking random person—but great thought nonetheless. Someone help me out and give me an idea of what to blog next.

I just made a long and brilliant comment about your post subbutstillaman. Unfortunately I hit the wrong **key** by mistake and it hurled into cyberspace with a speed approaching that of light. Now I am too exhausted to continue. I did enjoy your post but have one suggestion for the future: focus more on one or two issues (I realize your post was a sort of introduction, so fairly broad in scope). You gave us a lot to think about.

> I am going to be open and honest with the disclaimer that my mood changes daily i may swear if your offended by this i apologise but i am speaking from my mind and i swear a lot in my head so fuck it. > Click to expand... Sounds like my blog!:happy0007: I'm glad you decided to join us. You know how it goes... just blog what you want! Expect no comments, and don't take anything too personally and everyone will be happy bunnies!:party0002:

Right I shall call this update **KEEPING A LID ON IT** So after writing the jumble last night I sat down and was feeling a bit chilled out. So anyway MV is a bit stressed due to exams and bad PMT so like a muppet there I am winding her up, fucking bad move!!!! So after she tried to walk away from the argument that I shall codename Hiroshima (apologies to Japanese visitors but it’s an apt name so bollox), I then threw a really shit comment at her "go on throw something at the TV" FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK Next thing I know she has emptied a fucking bottle of coke everywhere over me and the laptops. Properly lost it, scary stuff!!! (don’t fuck with women on PMT serious chaps; chocolate and flowers is my advice). So there I am covered from head to toe in coke, horny as fuck, and to make it even worse she ran into the shower room to calm down and I couldn’t get the coke off my body. It was horribly sticky. There I am, I run towards the bathroom then stub my toe getting in the bath. I then shower down and realize I have no shower gel. I lean over to get the soap and bang! I slip a little and bang my head (karma). So then I thought fuck it, I’ll show her and ignored her and went to listen to the radio in bed. One problem: I was hornier than I’ve been for ages (don’t ask why), so I was stuck between going mad or calming down and speaking. My penis won the day. I left it a few hours; we had a great chat, then she sticks her toes in my mouth and gives me an amazing five-knuckled shuffle ever (masturbation for our American cousins, Wank for us Brits). So after trying to be a 90's man and staying awake after I come naturally, I fall straight to sleep (she was not up for me making her come). So I wake up this morning in a fairly good mood and get ready for my two-hour commute, latte in hand. The thought of a certain club being bottom of the Football league is buoying my spirits. After a fairly normal day at work, I jump on the train with a friend and begin to waffle (talk) crap. Then I look up and recognize a woman from before who seems to have a **fetish** for letting blokes view up her skirt. Well, I looked over; she had stockings on. She is slightly large but quite classy about it (or so I thought). She knows I am looking, and I can see the glint in her eyes. At this stage, I was thinking should I blog this? Fuck yes, I’m dead honest as promised. So anyway, the knicker flasher then pulls her skirt up slightly to reveal the funniest fucking thing ever. She must have borrowed her knickers from her grandma; I’m not joking—these were full-on hello-mummy period knickers from the 1800s!!! I then turn to my mate and that’s it, I’m gone. I’m almost on the floor laughing, crying from my eyes. My mate starts laughing and that does it. I can safely say no chastisement would ever be needed for me after seeing them FFS. Lesson for flirty vanilla women: DONT WEAR YOUR GRANS KNICKERS; IT’S NOT NICE!! Me and MV had a long chat, and I agreed it’s time for me to get set back into the path of chastisement, although she’s not on form tonight so I won’t push it. So what did I think about today? Well, lesbians in PVC and my wife (notice a recurring theme here!), oh, and I thought telling MV that coming from my g-spot makes my equipment dead for two days after. So when she’s feeling more alive, I’ll admit this to her (hello babe if you’re reading this:animal0008:) and buy that attachment for our Hitachi massager. Don’t know about others, but I actually have an **orgasm** from my bum as good as ejaculation; believe it or not! And if I’m chastised, it rubs on my g-spot all day and sends me mad and begging at her feet. So here I am blogging shit, smoking my joint, waiting for MV to come back to life and get me between her legs............ In the meanwhile, I think I’ll imagine Dr Brennan from Bones in PVC between my wife’s legs with me. My dog **collar** and lead on, licking my wife’s other hole, sticking my tongue inside, being her bitch as she calls it!!! Fuck yes!!! Right blog over for today; it’s time for me to get my bible and repent my sins.

:happy0195: You're so funny! And yes, stay away from us at that critical time of the month. It is uncontrollable; we don't mean it, but it just hits us... I swear to Goddess I go utterly schizophrenic... it's not ME, it’s someone else! So don’t take it personally! *Mental note... coke...* And as for granny knickers,:sign0094: How can someone be so sexually aware and yet have no clue in the lingerie department? Bizarre! Have a good day.

> subbutstillaman said: > In the meanwhile i think ill imagine Dr Brennan from bones in pvc between my wifes legs with me and my dog **collar** and lead on licking my wifes other hole sticking my tongue inside being her bitch as she calls it!!! Fuck yes!!! > Click to expand... Now that is a REALLY horny image! MMmmmm! Thank you for sharing that one!:happy0011::kissass:

Im in the raving hump over a football decision so sulking tonight.

Thats the understatment of the day:confused0086:

Still in the hump, in serious need of therapy. Why does football bother me so much FFS. MW I must confess I chatted with my mate tonight about the Victorian knickers and why she would wear them etc. His comment: 'she only likes to flirt but wears the knickers so she doesn't go all the way.' Honestly, FFS how did that answer help? Still pondering your comment, forgetting about analyzing it with any friends. Well, it’s a crap day; trains are screwed very late home and one hour before bed and getting up again. Saw my friend and arranged to play Call of Duty 3 on Xbox like Friday where I shall get to the top of the board and shout at my mate for playing like a numpty. Pet, I think we need to get online and shoot some Germans!!! Not feeling very horny at all just now; blurry is only way I can describe it. Think I’m going through my male period. So horny thoughts today haven’t really had any. G63, I would never call another man **master**, so don’t take offense by me using G63 but thanks for the comment. The one thing that’s bugging me is whether granny knickers was just an innocent person crossing her legs or not??? The scary thing is: would I dare give her some chat and the eye to test the theory? Now that is a harsh decision to make. Wonder if MV will give me a pass to satisfy my curiosity; it’s doing my nut in now. So sitting here hoping tomorrow livens me up, I just hope no one tops themselves on the trains tomorrow. As harsh as this sounds, it ruins everyone's day but then maybe that is the point (dark subject not going there). Hmm, just thought about sex at last; thinking about the Pussycat Doll in her PVC gear sat on my face whilst my wife rides my cock oh yes I’m back!!!!! But Carol Vorderman—now there’s an enigma. She is marmite: love or hate her. Now I reckon she would make a top Dom!! Intelligent, likes a bit of **leather**, and I reckon a viewing of the posts on this site (rather than the shit ad-ridden slow-loading jank elsewhere) would soon convince her to go over to the dark side! SO other women: think they’d be top Doms (and who I fucking fancy like mad) 1. Demi Moore (had my first wank to her and still love her) 2. Helena Bonham Carter (she makes me cry in Lady Jane and would bring out my protective side) 3. Helen Mirren (come on boys and girls, who wouldn’t? That swimsuit fuck yes) 4. Shelly from Coronation Street (loved her in those leather trousers; I’d let her sit on my face all night long yesss babyyy) 5. Anne Boleyn (the greatest Dom of all time who truly knew how to control a man) 6. Amanda Donohoe (that kiss in LA Law and love her in leathers) 7. Davina McCall (if I have to explain this then the readers need shooting and therapy FFS) 8. Jill Halfpenny (that accent and arse and hair oh yes) 9. Dawn French (verbal humiliation big time) 10. Angelina Jolie (fuck yes, do I really need to explain this). Writing this has been most therapeutic what what what; I don’t care if it’s not rated, commented on or read, it’s fucking therapy.

> saw my friend and arranged to play call of duty 3 on xbox ...Pet i think we need to get online and shoot some germans!!! > Click to expand... COD3 is the shit one.... We don’t even own it, which is saying something! We’re into Battlefield and Burnout Paradise (again... cos now there’s motorbikes and day and night cycles!)

Well I’m going to buy COD5; let's see how that one is!

Well I had no intention of blogging tonight but fuck it, I have now consumed one of Jamaica’s finest and yess baby life is good. Well me and MV have had a long chat and it has ended up with a mutual decision to go sex shopping Saturday morning. My mind is in pervert overdrive thinking about what to get; I might even get her to decide:animal0017: to **lock** me up as soon as I’m home tomorrow and go into the shop locked up. I fucking love sex shopping, especially in Soho. Being a Londoner, I know the proper shops not the front-door tourist traps or Ann Summers shops. But my local shops are ok; had some really good things and a whole wardrobe of **leather** Dom stuff for MV out of there. You have to say her tits are fucking sweet in leather; check her pic. So anyway, I’m thinking wtf can I get to shock her? One of the best things we ever bought from there was this amazingly long, large and thick (unlike any cock trust me on that) **strap-on** that went over my cock (which isn’t bad BTW) and vibrates. Fun fun; we have had with that. So what can I get to shock her? Or maybe secretly I’m wondering if we can get a remote control mini ball or something that can go into my Cb6000 fuck yes! Her buzzing me to attention whilst I lick all down her back from the tip of her neck, all down her spine, lower down onto the nub of her anus then reminding her what I’m doing sticking my tongue deep into her arse holding it open FUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK YYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSs. And I know the filthy dirty little selfish bitch will demand more; god im so fucking horny she is gonna fucking get **orgasm**ed even if I have to go locked up Dom and tie her up so she cannot move at all. I love domming her when I’m locked up (yes I can be more Dom locked up!) I love the clarity of mind it gives me to push her to the limit. I’ve always been told I have a sexy voice, and I use it telling her all the time what a filthy bitch in bed she is and how I worship every part of her body. I think in one sex session the most orgasms I have ever given her is 20 (there were 5 suspect little ones though) so this Saturday I’m going to beat that record. I’m going to beg her to dress in her PVC for me, tie back her hair and get some lip gloss on. She knows my stamina; god help her, I have a lot of frustration to get rid off—fucking lots!!!! MV has asked me to calm down discussing certain personal things that are fucking horny and fuck yes I would love to say but do understand and shall refrain from this. You know this blogging lark is very soothing. I could talk bollocks on here all night. It’s a shame all the viewers don’t post on the main board and start subjects; it’s actually quite good fun, and you don’t get judged. Try it I say. Big shout out to all me homies with Luther Vandross playing loud from a car with disco lights:character0117:

:animal0017: > Big shout out to all me homies with Luther Vandross playing loud from a car with disco lights > Click to expand... Before you get beaten up they are NOT disco lights... the term is UFO. Sounds a bit more interesting than disco lights, but it's ok... it’s your age! Glad to see the two of you are happy to switch. I think as long as both partners are happy to be switching then it can work. I will admit though, I can't wait to get back to being on the right side of the whip!:sex020:

LOL I don’t think she would let me switch. PS. LOL I’m not that old!!!!!!

> LOL i dont think she would let me switch. > Click to expand... Lol... ok, for my own peace of mind... what are you? Dom or sub?

Honestly I would say 80% Sub 19% Dom 1% Vanilla.