Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

Setting aside over-analysis, what is your immediate reaction to which of those options resonates most with you? This isn’t a competition. There’s no single correct or incorrect choice. The right answer depends on whatever feels true in your heart or gut. If you find yourself analyzing the question, especially if it’s new to you, then option #4—or simply staying silent—is perfectly valid. Please avoid leaving comments that might unconsciously sway others’ choices. Thanks for your patience and thoughtfulness.

It really depends on how you personally define control. For me, I tend to feel that I govern my inclinations. It's up to me to decide when, with whom, and to what extent I act on them. To put it simply: while I may not command my emotions entirely, I am certainly in charge of my actions. Thus, I selected answer 2, though I'd separate myself from the 'easy' aspect. Yes, one could live a completely different lifestyle by denying or ignoring some inclinations, but I don't believe it would be that simple. And why would someone want to do this? Did I ponder where my sexual tendencies originate? No! They are simply part of who I am, like everything else that defines me. And I'm quite content with the status quo.:) So if anyone wants to dig into where these tendencies come from, they should consult a psychiatrist themselves.;)

> Shimone said: > It really depends on how you personally define control. > Click to expand... Whatever definition of control works for you is the one that should guide your answer.

> Whatever definition of control works for you is the one that should guide your answer. > Click to expand... That was exactly my approach, Divine Mistress Angelique

I'm not sure why I've always been such a freak. It's just my nature, and I don't wish to suppress my feelings or emotions. For the first thirty years of my life, that suppression made me miserable. Since meeting my wife and being able to explain who I am—showing how vital sex is in my life—I’ve finally found peace. Hiding your true self drains you mentally, so I feel lucky to have met a wonderful woman who not only accepts me for who I am but also participates and encourages us both to explore our sexuality.

> LockedUpNewb said: > I'm not sure why I've always been such a freak. It's just my nature... [rest of quote] ...encourages us both to explore our sexuality. > Click to expand... Thank you for sharing your story. I am certain everyone here can relate. I dislike the words perv, pervert, and perversion (I prefer proclivity); they carry such a judgmental, negative sexual weight in modern usage. I assume most people who join this board have grown weary of suppressing their feelings and sexuality (hence my poll). We come together to help each other accept ourselves. Ultimately, the acceptance that matters most is our own. The only love we truly experience is self-love; it is nearly impossible to fully feel another person's emotions (barring a Vulcan mind-meld or some mystical connection). You are incredibly blessed to have found a woman who accepts you wholly. Cherish her. You might even kiss her feet and thank her for it—it is quite rare these days. I meet men every day whose only solution is paying someone to validate them. Love and acceptance to all, Mistress Angelique

I am not afraid of the word perv. I don't care if 'normal' society treats it like a four-letter swear word. I am a perverted sex freak, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Being a perv doesn't mean involving children or animals in my bedroom activities—not for me. To me, it simply means I'm highly sexual and not the slightest bit inhibited or embarrassed about who I am. I like sex—I enjoy kinky encounters—and I desire them often ------- sue me.:P I also identify as a liberal. It doesn't matter that 25% of Americans view it as a capital offense and might use it to justify putting me on the chopping block. I am a liberal, and I wear that label with pride. Let others call liberalism a four-letter word; it bothers me not at all. I truly feel blessed to have a woman who accepts me for who I am and joins in my perverseness (is 'perverseness' even a real word?) She doesn't judge. She makes me feel neither small nor embarrassed by my nature. She loves me. As our roles shifted recently, I've come to appreciate, respect, and love her even more. Previously, she was the stay-at-home mom, managing the house and paying bills. Over the last year, I lost my job, started a business, and now work from home. She attends college full-time. Now I am the stay-at-home dad while she is the 'working professional'—I know firsthand how difficult it is to handle full-time studies alongside a 40-45 hour study week for exams and papers. So I do the dishes, cook meals, wash clothes, mop floors, vacuum stairs, and shampoo carpets. This shift has given me fresh insight into just how much labor goes into being a stay-at-home mom. It's an unthanked job that often goes unnoticed. All the work happens while the rest of the family is at school or work. Dishes get done in solitude; clothes are washed and folded with no one around to see. It is effectively a full-time job caring for four people. I always knew it was hard work, but I didn't realize exactly *how* much effort maintains clean clothes and floors. Now I do know. And I love her for that. I appreciate her ten years of care. I admire her waking up at 5:30 AM to make breakfast for me and the kids. I have always loved her, but now my appreciation is deeper since our roles reversed. The shoe is on the other foot now. B

Locked Up Newb, I hope I didn't give you the wrong impression; I am completely behind you. If you choose to see yourself as a perv and a sex freak, go ahead! I just want the rest of the world to stop judging us so harshly for it. Even if we consider ourselves perverts and freaks, they shouldn't be seen that way by others. I view you as brave, sensitive, and self-aware. We here in this community are simply different. We aren't better or worse than anyone else; we just express our sexuality differently. Unfortunately, we live in an era where xenophobia is rampant (especially in the US), and 'different' terrifies normal people. My personal opinion—and I have no hard data to prove it—is that few of us possess a truly 'normal' sexuality. Many people are so terrified of their own desires that they attack others' sexuality as over-compensation. Every time someone condemns homosexuality from the pulpit, I wonder, "How long until he gets outed?" Usually just days or weeks. I understand where you're coming from (or at least, I think I do). Often, I embrace my inner slut and wear my 'whore' status with pride. I only wish I had done so sooner. You have every right to call yourself a perv and a sex freak. However, I hope you don't use those labels too broadly in the outside world, because some ignorant person might seize that excuse to justify their own bigoted, small-minded opinions. As soon as they label you a freak, they marginalize you mentally, allowing them to dismiss your thoughts and rights without real consideration. You are treated as if made of whole cloth; they have an easy way out to negate your position without examining their own petty reasoning. I hope I haven't dug myself into another hole of misunderstanding. To be perfectly clear: I support you. I support your sexuality. I mean *no one* any harm or insult. Hurray for all us perverted whores and sex freaks! We are completely innocent; we have done nothing wrong, and there is nothing inherently wrong with us. Let's show *that* to the world. Forgive me if my words don't fully convey the respect you deserve. Mistress Angelique

We are definitely on the same page. I only identify as a perv and sex freak within this community. If you met me at the grocery store or watching my kids play volleyball—you'd think I was the most conservative, straight-laced white guy imaginable. I keep my private life very ......... private ... among friends and in the 'real world.' My best friends don't even know all the crazy things my wife and I do behind closed doors. None of their business, because as you said—they wouldn't understand.