Journals and blogs discussion

I guess I’ll begin with some background to clear the air. My spouse and I have been together for a bit more than six years, recently both entering our thirties. I’ve liked bondage and BDSM since my late teens, bringing it up when we were still courting. She was curious, revealing she has a submissive nature too. We added BDSM play to our dynamic during engagement and the early marriage years. Initially, we took turns topping, but now I usually top while she submits. She admitted that she feels unable to do something harder or more painful (even if I ask) when it’s her turn to be dominant. The only regular activity where she maintains a dominant role is using a strap-on.

Even though I like dominating my wife, I enjoy submitting slightly more. Realizing she has a sub at heart, I started exploring passive ways for me to submit to her. I love the idea of hidden humiliations and often wear women’s thongs while out. The “hidden” quality is probably what draws me to chastity too. About a year ago, I mentioned my interest to her. She was unsure but agreed to read Fairbourne’s Male Chastity book for info. After reading it, she remained somewhat hesitant, mainly because she didn’t want the hassle of explaining things to others. If I had an accident and went to the hospital, she wouldn’t feel comfortable discussing it with a doctor. That makes sense to me; I don’t want to put her in an awkward spot. So after that conversation, I let the chastity idea rest for several months. Late last year, I asked if she’d thought about it more, and she said her concerns were unchanged.

A few weeks ago, I spotted a $20 CB-6000 knock-off on a Chinese site. Knowing my wife would be away for a week, this seemed like an affordable way to test out chastity and see if it suited me. When the cage arrived, I struggled but couldn’t get it on initially. I’m quite well-endowed, so even with lots of lube, fitting into the tube was tough. Fortunately, getting it on went much smoother the next day. It took some effort, but I managed to fit in using the largest ring/spacer. I left it on all day while shopping and running errands around town without any issues or discomfort. Over the past week, I’ve worn it several days. With boxers, it sticks out enough to look “bulgy,” but with a thong, it tucks back neatly and is unnoticeable. The only issue has been sleeping. The first night was fine, but on the next two nights, I woke up mid-sleep with sharp scrotal pain. I suspect nocturnal erections are pulling the cage away from my body and tuging at my scrotum. Once I take it off, falling back asleep is easy.

My wife comes home tomorrow, so now I need to figure out how/when to bring this up with her. Some people here practice “secret chastity,” but that doesn’t appeal to me much. I’m not sure if I should show her while wearing the cage or wait. I definitely don’t want to force the keyholding issue right away, so maybe framing it as a bedroom-only experiment is better? I’ll be thinking about this, and am open to your advice.

Given your situation, I'd suggest starting with "something you can just try in the bedroom for fun" and see how it develops. I think most people here would recommend a gentle approach.

Well, I was all set to introduce the CB-6000 to my wife tonight. I'd worn it all day and planned to suggest sex this evening as a way to bring it up. However, her period started a day early, which stopped things in their tracks. If there's one thing I've learned, don't propose new sexual activities during that time of the month! So, I'll try again in about a week. Will update then.

Yesterday, after my morning shower, I put on my chastity cage. It stayed on all day, and I revealed it to my wife before our playtime last night. I showed her the device, explaining that it was a cheap way to test things out and see how they went. Acknowledging that she isn't fully comfortable with long-term lockup yet, I mentioned we could keep it in the bedroom, avoiding any embarrassing public revelations. She agreed. I took off the cage, and we had great sex. It felt more intense than usual, and my wife even noted that it "felt very different." I imagine processing the idea of chastity mentally contributed to that intensity. There was no follow-up discussion afterward, mostly because we were both exhausted. This heightened experience might encourage her to let me lock up more often, perhaps just for tease sessions initially. That may not sound like much progress compared to before, but it's a step forward. I think I'll wait for her to bring the topic up again. We'll see what happens; I'll update when there are developments.

Good luck!!!! It's always tricky bringing up chastity with your partner. When I first mentioned it to my girlfriend, she was confused and worried about hurting my penis by locking it. After some playtime where I showed her the safety of extended wear, she eventually warmed up. Even after 8 months, she doesn't fully grasp it all, but she has increased my lock-up time. Now I'm locked for a whole month, something neither of us thought would happen or that I could handle. I'm about a week in now and extremely horny; my girlfriend loves it. I'll do almost anything she asks. LOL

I hadn't worn my cb-6k much or mentioned it to the wife until late last year. My birthday is just before Christmas, and as a gift, she usually indulges me with a night or two of whatever bedroom fun I choose. This time, I tried positioning her as more dominant, having her administer canings, zippers up my fly, strap-on fucking, and other activities that are less common in our sex life now than they used to be. I wore my chastity cage throughout this playtime, removing it just before intercourse. A few weeks ago, anticipating some bedroom fun by the end of the weekend, I locked myself into the cage on Friday morning. On Sunday morning, the wife discovered it was still there, and Monday night she took it off for more fun. Our anniversary was a few days back. Saturday night, during a break in our celebrations, we discussed what kind of bedroom activities we wanted to do. I told her that after everything else finished, I wanted her to lock my chastity cage on me and hold the key. She asked if I was really sure; when I confirmed she agreed! After finishing up, I wondered if she would bring it up again, but since I was exhausted, I stayed quiet and went to sleep. Sunday morning, I locked the cage back on and handed her the key before heading out for groceries. She didn't mention it until Monday, when she said "Oh, I threw the key in the river." I replied that having a spare wasn't bad news. Then she added that the original was actually on her keychain and she would have let me out for my morning shower if I'd asked. She also hinted at letting me out for some fun tomorrow night. So there it is. I'm locked up, and my wife holds the key. I can release myself if needed, which suits me fine. I knew this wouldn't be a "hidden-key where you get out only when she says so" situation; I'm just thrilled that things are where they are now. I'm eager to see what happens tomorrow night: will she lock me back up after we're done? I guess she'll let me decide whether or not to wear it, but time will tell...

As I expected, after our fun on Tuesday night, my wife did not lock me back up. She did ask some more questions about chastity; how it felt, and how belng locked up might impact my orgasmic output. The questions are kind of nice, as it seems she might be warming more to the concept. She still gives me the key to unlock myself, rather than doing it herself, so I'm sure there's still some apprehension. I'll probably lock myself up again in the morning, and we'll see when she lets me out next!

Long time, no update! My apologies. I still lock myself up periodically, but not much continued interest from the wife. Sometimes she'll comment or joke about it, but not much else. We also have a young child, so the possibility of those running surprise hugs (parents you know what I'm talking about) means I don't wear it all that often any more. My CB-6K knockoff had separated/cracked down the middle, but even after a krazy glue repair, it separated again. A few weeks back, one of the guide pins broke off as well. For $30, it lasted a lot longer than I expected. To replace it, I ordered the Bird Cage from Extreme Restraints, and it arrived today. Got it on quite easily, and it feels much more secure. No more worries about cracking the cage, that's for sure! I'm currently working cross-country from my family, so I'm going to wear the BC as long as I can, until I see them again (about a month). I know it doesn't sound like long, but if I can keep it on until then, it'll definitely be my record. So far it seems like it'll be easier to keep clean, which is a big plus. It also looks like it'll be a little bulkier under clothes, but hopefully not too visible. Will hopefully have more to update with later!

Hi m2s. Sounds like we're in very similar circumstances. My loving wife does not really get my desire to go beyond a bit of bedroom fun and I too am currently controlling my lock-ups on journeys from home. I'm currently on day nine away and this is the longest to date and beginning to get more difficult...if not exciting. I've found a lot of help and support from cm but want to go to the next level too. Toying with idea of a keyholder/mistress when away but am a bit a bit wary of how that could work. Hang on in there and good luck as you "steel yourself up!" I will be watching and supporting. In meantime I'm looking forward to a "quiet" weekend on my own ... Dressed up and with a few toys!:-).

Thanks Jane. Best of luck to you as well.

Well, I was able to stay locked up until the end of March, which was quite the feat for me. And now I'm away from my wife again, this time until the end of May. With my wife's birthday coming up in a few days, I'm planning to stay locked from her birthday, until I see her again, which will be another one month period. In the past, she hasn't always wanted to keep me locked up for long periods of time, because she enjoys penetration. So, I ordered her a hitachi magic wand and some attachments, in hopes that it might sway her more towards keeping me regularly locked. The humiliation involved with her not needing me would be pretty intense. Time will tell.

Since my last update, much has changed! No full time chastity (yet), but my wife had shown increased interest in teasing my while I'm locked, even keyholding for a full month leading up to my birthday! She had previously shown concern that some unexpected issue might lead to exposure of my chastity, and wasn't too fond on taking it out of the bedroom. Last weekend, while she was out of town, I snapped her that I was excited for her return and the potential of being unlocked. She didn't reply, but took my keys upon her return. After a few days, she sent me a WheelDecide screenshot that had options of yes, no, and yes but. The last one means I get to orgasm, but coupled with something unpleasant. It was pointing at no, by the way. She says she'll spin it whenever she feels like it, as she should. It may not sound like much, but this feels like the most potential for a long term lockup that I've experienced, and I'm anxiously looking forward to where it goes.

You seem to be enjoying your new chastity experience. My question is what does she have to gain from you being locked up. When was the last time you gave your wife an earth shaking orgasm. If she gets to receive more pleasure than she has ever experienced before through orgasms, foot massages or you just doing more of the house work she will be more willing to try locking you up. Show her how chastity will benefit her and it will go much smoother. That's how I got my wife to except having me in chastity 24/7 for the last 2.5 years. Good Luck

> Mash2214 said: > You seem to be enjoying your new chastity experience. My question is what does she have to gain from you being locked up. When was the last time you gave your wife an earth shaking orgasm. If she gets to receive more pleasure than she has ever experienced before through orgasms, foot massages or you just doing more of the house work she will be more willing to try locking you up. Show her how chastity will benefit her and it will go much smoother. That's how I got my wife to except having me in chastity 24/7 for the last 2.5 years. Good Luck > Click to expand... Thanks. Part of the rub has always been that she enjoys my penis. We've tried a strap on, but she doesn't like it as much. I don't want to deprive her of what she needs, but do want to show her how it can benefit her. That's the fine line now. Show increased attention, and be giving, but don't be seen as needy or pushy. She was open to me making requests of the WheelDecide spinner. I asked for an option where I'd stay in the cage but watch/assist her in having an orgasm, and another where I'd be let out of the cage, teased, but ultimately locked back up without orgasm. We'll see when the next spin happens!

She can still enjoy your penis. She can just tell you not to cum or you'll be punished or use a numbing cream or max strength orajel and a condum or two so she can have as much sex as she wants with no orgasam for you.

Yesterday, my wife hinted that she might be spinning the wheel again. Sure enough, just before bedtime she did; and just like the last time, it was a no. My reward (consolation prize?) was a passionate kiss, and the look in her eyes told me that she's enjoying my predicament. I said something about checking the distribution of 'yes' and 'no' fields, to which she quickly replied 'that's not up to you'. It's also worth noting that she has yet to show me the actual spin, just the final result. So far, so good...

@m2s ooh i like your avatar its pretty and sparkly.:)

After a couple more nights of 'no' spins, I surreptitiously caught a glance of the wife spinning the wheel last night. And it came up as 'yes, but'! She looked at it for a second and spun again, but this time it was a 'no'. She switched browser tabs and a few minutes later she showed me the bad news. She is absolutely enjoying this, lots of snuggling, reminding me the wheel was my idea, etc. Her period will start in a few days, and April Fool's is right around the corner as well. I predict zero to no orgasms in my immediate future.

> m2s said: > After a couple more nights of 'no' spins, I surreptitiously caught a glance of the wife spinning the wheel last night. And it came up as 'yes, but'! She looked at it for a second and spun again, but this time it was a 'no'. She switched browser tabs and a few minutes later she showed me the bad news. She is absolutely enjoying this, lots of snuggling, reminding me the wheel was my idea, etc. Her period will start in a few days, and April Fool's is right around the corner as well. I predict zero to no orgasms in my immediate future. > Click to expand... lol very conniving!! You didn't let on that you saw her "cheating" did you? Best to let that one slide until you really need it!! Sounds like a fun game.. Reminds me, we have one of those sex game spinners that I should modify or better yet suggest she modify and see if she is interested. Fun story buddy!

> DoesasTold said: > lol very conniving!! You didn't let on that you saw her "cheating" did you? Best to let that one slide until you really need it!! Sounds like a fun game.. Reminds me, we have one of those sex game spinners that I should modify or better yet suggest she modify and see if she is interested. > Fun story buddy! > Click to expand... Nooooo, not going to let on about that. I'd previously told her that I noticed I never got to see the spins, and she said something about that just being how it was. is what we're using; it can be whatever you make it!

Wow! You've made great progress, great for you both!

As expected, 'that time of the month' has put a momentarily halt to wheel spins. I'm only two weeks in (longest 24/7 ever was five weeks), but with all my wife's interest, and the uncertainty of a release date, this has felt like my longest lockup. I'm staying positive and keeping on the dishes and laundry; there's not much more I can do for the next few days. This morning I was at my daughter's swim lesson, and a mother sitting on the bleachers in front of me had her v-string poking out from the top of her jeans for the length of the entire class. Talk about an hour of unexpected teasing!

It's been 27 days and still I wait. Periodic teasing, and mentions of letting me out, but I think my wife has finally seen that I can be caged for significant periods of time. Previously she would offer to let me out to shower, or if I had something important going on. Now, it seems like less of a concern for her. Hooray? Hooray.

Made it to the 30 day mark (equaling my duration record) and the wife decided to let me out. She handed me the keys after dinner, ordered me to take my cage off, and said she wasn't going to spin because the wheel didn't like me. After the usual evening routine, I was treated to a significant amount of teasing, and was threatened with not being allowed to cum after all. Ultimately things finished with me fucking her for an unsatisfyingly short time. First time out is always the quickest, right? I asked when I was to be locked up again and she said she hadn't picked a date yet. We're going to see her family next weekend, so I'm sure I'm free until then. Perhaps May will see a 30 day repeat? Or maybe I'll set a new lock-up record? Time will tell...

Over the last few years, our chastity dalliances have always been just that, dalliances. But I think we've finally reached the comfort level where they will lengthen. I'd been talking about new ways of determining lockup times with my wife. We talked about how the previously-mentioned method of wheel decide spinning was fun, but required more work from her. I brought up the idea of dealing cards. She thought I said a 'card' and was surprised when I said, 'no, a full five card hand.' On a previous lockup, she had mentioned she thought a month was too long, but now seemed more open to the longer period that a hand might deal. A couple weeks back we were at a game shop where I spotted a 60-sided die (Amazon also carries a 120-sided die for you real sadists). I mentioned that could be another fun way to determine lockups, and she said to buy it. A couple days later, I locked up in the morning, and gave her the keys and the die. An hour or two later, she sent me a video of her rolling a 22. I immediately set a countdown timer on my phone, and sent her back a screenshot, which she confirmed was the right time. It can be a little hard to pick out the numbers on that large of a die. She also mentioned (threatened?) that she was practicing to figure out how to roll specific numbers, and rolled a 60 on her first go. Since then, it's been two weeks without much in the way of teasing. Based on previous experience, I need to remember to not be pushy in that regard. This is about her and not me. She did agree to receive a list of teases that I would enjoy: verbal teasing, wearing the key in the bedroom, things like that. This lockup also overlaps with an out-of-state business trip of mine. She gave me the keys in case I need them, but agreed to my suggestion of putting them in a tamper-evident envelope. In the past, she would've insisted that I unlock, but I think she's realized that it's less of a 'problem' than she initially thought. After previous unlockings, we've had our fun, fallen asleep in each others arms, and that's been that. This time, I'm going to ask to be locked back up immediately after. It would be nice to finish Locktober, and maybe even plow through November. I still haven't topped about 35 days of continuous lockup. I was also kicking around a resolution for 2018 to be locked more than I'm unlocked. Seems easy, right?

Awesome story and update!