Female led relationships discussion

So far my partner hasn’t shown much interest in taking the Keyholder role. He considers Chastity to be “odd.” During a recent chat, he asked two questions that left me stumped: “Is Chasty codependent?” “Isn’t codependency an unhealthy relationship pattern we ought to sidestep?” Hmmm… honestly - I’m no psychologist and not a relationship expert.:animal0017: I do have some ideas, though:

1. Does it really matter if Chastity is codependent? Even if it is, who cares? Both parties pursue their own complementary goals with clear eyes! Is it necessarily unhealthy? Likely it enriches both…
2. Chastity anchored in a punishment schedule probably counts as codependency. Perhaps a regimen of punishment without reward or hope for reward could be unhealthy.
3. A “tease and deny - then allow” game dynamic is likely not codedependent. I throw these thoughts out there for feedback - I need to respond to my partner, and some input from y’all (especially those in Texas) would help me clarify my thinking so I can talk more honestly with him.:anim_20: Thanks - Brian

Regarding your signature: Dogs respond to calls; cats deliver messages. But addressing your query: What about someone who desires **chastity** without needing another person to lock them up? I believe many seek denial simply to accumulate personal sexual energy, independent of a partner. It feels more like a self-driven compulsion where the rewards come from within rather than relying on someone else. Bobbybig

Hello BobbyBig, Yes, cats do take messages (unless dinner time...) I hadn't fully considered the self-locked individual—you raise a valid point for exploration. I agree that locking oneself up is indeed a selfish compulsion aimed at heightened arousal. Typically, codependency involves two people: one has a behavioral drive, and the other becomes addicted to enabling that driver. From this angle, I want to argue **chastity** as a healthy extension of our bond—trying to find a framework he can accept for the keyholder role. Currently, we share an "informal" D/s dynamic, so moving toward chastity isn't much of a leap in my view—at least regarding the basic "tease and deny - then allow" role play. Thanks for joining the discussion! P.S. - It's cat mealtime right now—they responded to the call—well, at this specific moment...

Reflecting on this overnight Bobbybig... I don't believe self-locked individuals are doing anything unhealthy. I hope my previous reply didn't imply that. My partner seems concerned that **chastity** overall isn't good for our relationship, using that as his reason to dismiss the idea. So, some education is needed on my part. But if he sticks to "No," then so be it. I'm just gathering other perspectives to enrich our conversation! Thanks again for your comments.

Hummm.....just a heads up, my cats always come when I call them!!! bcc, I'd like to offer a suggestion... If it were me, I would stop treating this **chastity** matter with your partner as something much bigger than it needs to be. Much like male/female dynamics, it can sometimes work better to introduce **chastity** as a new toy or game to enjoy playing with. Early on, neither you nor your partner need to worry too much about all the theoretical aspects of 'the chastity relationship' and how it fits into your lifestyle. Since you've already had this big discussion with him, maybe stepping back and saying that you don't have all the answers—and that it's just something you want to try—could help. Then you can enjoy playing with it, savoring it when possible, hoping he develops a liking for it. If not, at least there's a new toy in the chest. Just My 2 cents worth Mistress Michelle:sex020:

Hello Mistress Michelle, Thank you for your "two-cents." I truly value your wisdom. We've discussed **chastity** about four or five times since August, so it's not a dreaded subject nor a worn-out topic in our home. Plus, the toy box has room for more additions (and we do play with our toys)! I have decided to let this settle for a while. I've tried enticing George through some "toy play" using the cage and all, but he remains quite reluctant, which is something I respect. So perhaps it simply goes no further. Regardless, I am persistent—you have to be to run a business... I don't give up things easily; my mind constantly churns over problems. Oh - Pink Floyd Live At Pompeii playing on my iTunes player—brings back many memories... And Skyler is purring at my feet—he's happy to see me home for the day. It's nice hearing from you, Mistress. Thank you again for your wisdom—I can see where you're coming from. Brian