I got caught sending the same message twice and I deserved it

Two women who knew each other compared my messages. They were the same message. I had changed the opening line and nothing else. One of them wrote to tell me, without malice, that they had had a good laugh about it and that I should probably stop.

I would like to say I was mortified, and I was, but the more useful thing I felt was recognition, because I had known exactly what I was doing and had told myself it was efficient.

Thirty, Salford, three years in. In a city this size, that story got around, and I have thought a good deal about whether posting it here makes it better or worse. I have concluded that it is already known and that saying it myself is the only honest option available.

What I do now is write one at a time, which takes an evening, and I have sent four letters this year rather than forty.

What I want is a structured arrangement with duties and a real place in a week. I am reliable, I am useful, I am reasonably good company and I am capable of learning from being told I have behaved badly, which is the only thing this post is actually evidence of.

I am not asking to be forgiven and I am not going to pretend it was a small thing. It was rude, and it was rude to a small number of people who all know each other.