No pain at all, and it turns out that rules out most of the board

No impact of any kind. Nothing that hurts. Nothing that leaves anything behind. I have said this in six years of conversations and the response about half the time is a kind of puzzled pause, as though I have said I want to go swimming without getting wet.

Forty five, Didsbury, six years in. Two dynamics, of two and three years, in neither of which did any of it ever come up after the first conversation, and in neither of which did anybody feel short changed.

What I want is authority rather than sensation. Somebody who decides things and expects them done. Rules that hold through ordinary weeks. Correction that consists of being told clearly what was wrong and doing it again, and the specific unpleasantness of having disappointed somebody, which is worse than anything physical anybody could do to me.

I have thought about why this is such a common surprise and I think it is because the visible version of all this is photographed, and what gets photographed is the part that shows. The part I want does not photograph at all.

What I do not want is a woman who takes this as a starting position. It is not. Six years and it has not moved and it is not going to.

If sensation is the centre of it for you, we would frustrate each other. If what you actually enjoy is being obeyed, I am extremely good at the obeying.