My mother lives with me and that decides nearly everything here

My mother has lived with me for three years and needs somebody in the house most of the time. That single fact decides everything about what I can offer, and I have watched two conversations die quietly once it became clear. I do not blame anybody for that at all. It is a real limit and it will not be changing for years.

Fifty two, Salford, seven years in this, one arrangement of two years that ended before she came to me.

What I have is weekday mornings, when my sister sits with her, and a great deal of time at home that could be spent doing something for somebody else. What I do not have is any ability to be away overnight, or to promise a Saturday, or to be certain of anything more than about a week ahead.

So what I want is an arrangement that lives mostly in tasks and reporting, with mornings when we can actually meet. I am extremely good at doing what I said I would do, which is what three years of this has made of me whether I wanted it or not.

What I do not want is sympathy about the situation, which is ordinary and which a great many people my age are quietly doing. And I would rather not be asked whether somebody else could take over, because there is nobody, and the question has never once been asked kindly.