I am not a professional and I will not be mistaken for one again

In the last month I have been asked for my rates four times. Once politely, once at length, once with an offer attached, and once by a man who became unpleasant when I explained. That is an ordinary month and I have had twenty three years of them.

So, in writing, once: nothing here is for hire. There is no session, no tribute, no arrangement carrying a figure, no gift that buys an answer. This city has a large and visible professional world, that world is a different sort of website, and the women who work in it are not me. I lead in my own private life, with people I choose, for nothing, because it is what I am.

Fifty one, the west, twenty three years leading, two long arrangements, the second ended amicably four years ago when he emigrated.

What I want is a man for the long term. Household service, standing expectations, a structure that survives contact with two demanding jobs. I want somebody who is useful, punctual and easy to have in a house, and I am not interested in an evening, a scene or a demonstration.

If money appears in your first message in any form, including as a generous offer to cover expenses, I will not reply and you should not take it personally. It simply means you have written to the wrong sort of woman on the wrong sort of board, and there is nothing insulting in either of us saying so plainly.