I forget things unless they are written down, and I have stopped apologising

I have ADHD. What that actually means for anybody considering me is very specific and not at all mysterious: if a thing is written down with a time attached, I will do it, reliably, for years. If it is mentioned in conversation and expected to be remembered, there is a genuine chance it will evaporate within the hour, and no amount of caring about it changes that.

Thirty one, Salford, four years in. The one dynamic I had ran about a year and ended over exactly this. She thought I was being careless, which was reasonable, because from the outside forgetting and not caring look identical.

Since then I have built systems around it. Everything goes in one place. Reminders on everything. I have not missed a work deadline in two years and I am the person my friends ask to organise things, which they find funny.

So what I am asking for is a woman who is willing to give instructions in writing rather than in passing, and who understands that this is not a request to be handled gently. It is a request for a format.

What I offer inside that format is total consistency. Standing duties, done on time, indefinitely.

What I do not want is anybody who thinks this needs managing or fixing. It does not. It needs a list. And I do not want the diagnosis to become a topic, because it is dull to me and I have already had all the conversations.