I work overnights on a dispatch desk and my life is upside down

Eleven at night to seven in the morning, four on and three off, for the last nine years. I sleep from nine until four in the afternoon. Both arrangements I have had ended because somebody eventually got tired of proposing Saturday evening and being told no again.

Forty seven, the Bronx. I want to say clearly that neither of those women behaved badly. They wanted a normal week and I do not have one, and after enough months that stops being romantic and becomes a logistics problem nobody can solve by wanting it more.

The upside, which I have learned to lead with, is that I have Tuesday and Wednesday completely free while the rest of the city is at work. If you also keep strange hours, or you are retired, or you simply like an empty afternoon in a city that is usually full, we already overlap more than most people on this board.

What I want is structure that does not depend on being in the same room. Tasks through the week. A report at a fixed hour, which for me might be six in the morning and I am aware that is nobody's idea of romance. Somebody who notices when I have not eaten properly, which happens on the third night every single time.

What I do not want is to be asked whether I could change shifts. I could not, and the asking is how the last one started ending.