Wanted · London · Women who lead
I am happy to lead. I am not willing to be a first tutorial
- Wants
- somebody who has already done his own reading
- Experience
- Eighteen years leading, and four years of teaching beginners I did not choose.
- Around
- the south east, London
For four years I ran what amounted to an unpaid evening class. Man after man arriving with nothing done, no reading, no thought about what he wanted, expecting the woman to supply the vocabulary, the structure, the limits and the confidence, and then to be pleased about it.
I stopped. I am very good at the leading and I am extremely bored of the induction.
Forty six, the south east, eighteen years in. What I mean by having done your own reading is not that you have opinions about theory. It is that you have worked out, on your own time, what you want an ordinary week to feel like, what you will not do, and which of the things you find exciting to read about you would actually want in a real house on a Wednesday. Those are questions a man can answer for himself and most have never tried.
What I want is a long arrangement with somebody who arrives with that work done. Standing duties, a real place in my week, service that is practical rather than symbolic. I will teach you how I want things done, at length and repeatedly, because that part is mine. I will not teach you what you are.
I know this reads as demanding. It is. I am one woman with a full life, and I have exactly one evening a week to give, and I would rather give it to a man who knows what he is asking for.
Where this one puts you on the route
If you read this one twice, you are at stage four whether you meant to arrive there or not. Nearly everything that goes wrong from here goes wrong in the first message.
- 04 Read her stated instructions before you write a word
- 04 Writing the first message, with two short ones in full
- 04 The seven openers that get deleted unread
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