The absence of money is not a detail, it is the whole thing

I have been asked twice this year whether I would consider an arrangement where something was paid, in one direction or the other, and both times I have said no and both times the person seemed to think I was being difficult about a technicality.

It is not a technicality. The reason any of this works, for me, is that nothing is owed and nothing is bought. If I were being given something, I would be doing a job, and a job is a thing you can be adequate at. What I want is to be depended on, which only exists where there is no transaction underneath it holding the arrangement up.

Fifty five, the west, twenty two years of this, three arrangements, the longest fourteen years and ended when she moved into care and then when she died. I have been on my own with it since.

What I offer is competence and constancy. I can run a house, I can drive, I can cook well enough for company, I can be relied upon absolutely to be where I said I would be. I ask for nothing except to be given work that matters and to be told when it is not right.

What I will not do is receive anything, offer anything, or be part of a conversation where a figure appears. I will end that conversation politely and immediately, and I have twice, and I would again.